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KOKORO 46. The Ultimate Crucible. 

Don't do it. Never ever do KOKORO. I do not recommend it... UNLESS you want it so bad in your heart, you are willing to die or finish. DO NOT attempt this to try to show off your athletic ability. If you think you are a badass, you're not. You will not make it. KOKORO is different. Completing KOKORO requires complete commitment in your heart and soul. Quitting can not be an option. 

WHY? That's the question I hear from most people when I tell them, I completed a Navy Seal Hell Week Experience. Most will never understand. And that's OK. I LOVE to WORXOUT. I LOVE to Push Myself. I could no longer exist in a world of mediocrity, doing the minimum it takes to get through the day, trying to cheat the system. KOKORO was an escape from the real world. A chance to get dirty, cuss, feel pain, get yelled at and ultimately forge lifelong relationships with complete strangers. The softness of the modern world is messy and convoluted, P.C. and un-filling. The burning desires I have in my heart did not fit in the conventional ideals of society. I don't fit. Fitting in never felt good. It never felt authentic. I could care less about keeping up with other people's standards. What you see is what you get. 

Get ready to meet yourself. That's what I was told from a former KOKORO grad. That was scary. What if I don't like her?  During KOKORO there is no room for anything that is not completely authentic. I had no choice but to let my light shine. The coaches kept asking me why I was smiling so much. I didn't realize that everyone doesn't smile like I do. I didn't realize that everyone didn't enjoy the experience. One of the coaches on the second night said to me, you will be team leader tonight, your team needs you. I really thought, Why do they need ME? It turns out, I am very positive. My positivity is deeply ingrained. I tend to have fun doing just about anything. By the end of the second night, the coaches made everybody call me "MOM". I am also a nurturer. I take care of people. Having 3 kids was a complete advantage at KOKORO. You have to filter out the chaos and listen to instructions. One of the most rewarding aspects of completing KOKORO was meeting myself. I discovered I am not really that deep, AND THAT'S OK! All my life I've met people with demons and wondered if I should have some of those. Nope. I'm good. I am positive. I like to Smile. I Take Care of People. This is me. 

I think about KOKORO everyday. Nothing will ever live up to the experience. I miss it everyday. I wish I could go back to simplicity. I am Thankful for SEALFIT and KOKORO every second of everyday.

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